There is a light, & it never goes out.

There must be something so very wrong with me if all these people find it so easy to leave me. 
I hate myself. I can't even think straight.
I'm no where near as different as I like to make out I am. 
I try to walk like I think a confident person would, but I still look at the floor. 
I put people down to make myself look better.
Even though I don't want him, or him, I hate it when they talk to other girls. 
I like guys who read literature, have the sides of their head shaved and listen to The Smiths.
Yet the guys I get are either too nice, or complete cunts who just stop talking to me for no reason, after working their way into my life.
I don't feel anything.
I don't like how I've changed. But I can't remember what it was liek to be the person I was before Darryl left me. I just remember that I was happy. There was me and him. That's all I know.
I don't know how to get myself back.
I keep finding all these little things every day which just bring me lower and more so down.
My friend recommended another photographer to a band.
He's online, yet not talking to me.
She did it before I did.
They're happy, why is it so impossible for me?
I don't want to feel anything for anyone appart from my boy. I don't want my life to move on.
I don't want to feel like im moving on, & I don't even want to love anyone else.
You were my best friend, you had no one here. Then you replace me?
I can't take any more.